Uganda: Pearl Of Africa

I was thinking how its a funny thing, pearls. We all know the nice redemptive story of how the precious stone is created. Some piece of sand gets lodged in an oyster, the living organism of the oyster then over time coats the granular and produces the sought after pearl. It’s your classic Cinderella story—with a bit of a Little Mermaid twist I suppose. Britain’s Prime Minister, Winston Churchill visited the luscious country of Uganda in 1907 and was the first to call it the “Pearl of Africa.” While Churchill was referencing the landscape in this now war torn country, the 24-million people who call the place home are the ones who truly make the land precious.

You may have received many a letter from me over the past few years. However, some of you may be new friends whom I have not shared this part of my heart with. Where ever you fall into that sphere of friendship with me and my family I would ask you to take a moment to let me share a piece of the burden God has placed within me. I have always been enamored with trains, planes, maps, adventures, and stories of lives changed. Growing up I didn’t understand why I had such a draw towards these topics, not until the first time I was offered the chance to travel to a far off country to share God’s love. That’s when it all clicked. This passion for far off places and daring adventures was God’s way of whispering his longings to reach a people often overlooked. Since this realization God has lead me to three foreign countries and an outlook changing week in the slums of Los Angeles. Through this I’ve been blessed beyond words by many of you repeatedly supporting me. Now I am asking that you don’t allow this recurring, neatly folded letter to become white noise. I believe I’ve been allowed to go on these trips in the past, in preparation to step out and take a trip back to continent that stole my heart on my first trip in 2007 to South Africa.

This time I don’t have any details to share of how I and 20 others from my church are crossing the ocean to reach out to the people of Uganda. This time—its just me. I am joining Ugandan Pastor, Jackson Sangoya, the founder of Christian Life Ministries on a trip to Seeta, Uganda July 14-August 1. I have discovered how there has never been any quicker way to reduce me to tears then to share the plea of this war torn country. I have often said how I need the occasional reality check, whether that is in the form of a memoir of someone who has lived through unspeakable circumstances, or watching a film about true events. When I popped in the documentary “Invisible Children” to watch one afternoon a few years back, I had no idea what God was getting ready to do in my heart. As the film detailed the lives of these children who are forced into a life of killing, my heart broke. I sobbed uncontrollably as it showed children weeping over their lost parents, many of whom had been killed at their own hand. This is a country that has been torn apart by an internal war for over 20 years, and none of the people who live there have been able to stay indifferent. They have all been affected, whether their children were kidnapped by the LRA (a rebel army) and forced to be soldiers, or they watched their siblings brutally kill their parents, or they perhaps have witnessed a loved one slowly pass away as a result of AIDS. In one way or another, this once beautiful country has become a waste land of overlooked humanity.

With the growing desire to go and love on the people of this country, I decided that if I didn’t act on it soon, the opportunity would pass me by. I felt like God was saying this was the year to step out. With Christian Life Ministries I will be spending most of my time in the villages of Seeta and Lira. Seeta is a village that is committed to providing a home for many widows and women who suffer from HIV. While many of these woman have lost their children to the LRA’s cruelty, the ministry has began to bring back their joy by allowing them to be house moms for some of the thousands of orphans cared for by CLM. In Lira, the ministry has created a fresh start place for the surviving young victims of the LRA to recover and re-learn what it is like to live life outside of being a war criminal. I will have the amazing opportunity to help the house moms at these villages, serve them in the name of Christ and to love on them as well as the kid who stay there. For me to go, I still need to raise $3000 by June 30. If you feel lead to support me financially you can write a tax deductible check to Christian Life Ministries.

So friends and family, I just want to update you on how things are going as I have been raising money for my trip this summer. Along with the support letters I have sent out, I have been doing a text book drive and a garage sale of sorts to raise the funds. At this point I have about a third of the funds that I need in order to go to Uganda. At this juncture I would ask you to continue to partner with me in prayer over the people I will encounter as well as the fundraising process. I also want to ask if you would consider supporting me financially if you haven’t already? I of course want to thank those of you who have year after year helped me go to these places that God opens the door to- you are irreplaceable. You are all such a blessing, thank you for everything.

My hope is that perhaps the beautiful people of Uganda will yet be known for their love and joy that can be found in Christ. Maybe the country’s appearance as an insignificant grain of sand can still be seen transformed into a pearl once more. Maybe what they need is someone like you to reach out. Maybe you’re able to go someday or maybe you’re able to give.I don’t think that I am some super hero who will single handedly change the nation in three weeks. But what I do know is that I feel called there. Not everyone is, not everyone has to go. But I feel like I have to be obedient to what God has laid on my heart, and I can’t do that without your help. Thank you for considering supporting me, and investing in the Pearl of Africa.

Thoughts on direction..

+Ephesians 1:8,17(NLT) He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding...asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

I have been praying a lot lately that God would just give me some divine direction in some decisions that I have at this stage of my life. It seems like at every turn there is a potentially life altering decision to be made, and that is a reality that strikes an indecisive person like me with fear. I know that any decision made out of fear is tainted and may cloud my discernment in what God is trying to tell me. I also know that I want to make my decisions with a foundation of faith- confident that my God can creatively intervene in any situation as he works all things to my good. (Rom 8:28)

This morning as I sit at a Starbucks in the beautiful city of Colorado Springs, the sun is shining out side the window, the breeze is waltzing with the bare branches of the trees and the Rocky mountains frame a picturesque sky. With this majestic sight before me I came across the above verses. With a gently whisper that I imagine was akin to the voice God chose to speak to Elijah with in the mountain side cave I heard something pressing on my heart. The Father simply whispered, "What if your asking for direction is a request slightly off aim? Ask for understanding, ask for wisdom. These things will lead you to a deeper knowledge of me. Once you know me more deeply- direction comes naturally, and it wont be something to fear. Isn't a clearer understanding of me a more precious treasure then a revelation of the next 6 months of your life? Do you trust that I have your every day written in my book?"

The admonishment of James 4:2-3 came to mind. I was asking God for direction, but were my motives misdirected? I know God does not look down on my asking for direction, it isn't that I felt he was correcting me for some wrong doing. He wants to bless me, the Spirit has promised to lead me into all Truth. If I change my prayer focus from clear direction, to deeper wisdom- the decisions that lead to my future and its direction will fall naturally in line with his will and heart for me.

I know that some things God speaks to us is a personal word, but with the joy I find in writing, I felt this was another gentle lesson that God may have to teach you too. Maybe it was just a lesson God wanted to open my eyes to, maybe my motives were slightly askew from what they should be as I sought God's will for my life;his will for the next year of my life. But if this is for you to hear, then please read it and take it to heart. Maybe God is calling you to deeper knowledge of him, and that may mean letting go of the strict ten year plan you created when you were in 8th grade. Maybe God is calling you to a spontaneous life that is lead daily by reliance on him; daily trust. No prayer is over looked by God, but if he impresses on me a way to pray that is more in line with his heart-wouldn't I be a fool to over look it?

God forgive me for seeking direction alone. I was looking at that prayer as a means to an end. I was asking for quick definitive answers and was missing out on the joy that can be found in creatively discovering the next chapter of life you've written for me. Holy Spirit, thank you for leading me into all Truth. Help me to rely on you, may I invite you into my every day, every decision, trusting that you are imparting wisdom freely as I ask for it. May the wisdom and understanding that you reveal to me lead me deeper in to you. Above all else- God- if I am closer to you, to your heart, my life will be enriched so much more then having my life plan cemented. May I never forget the faithfulness you've displayed in my life in the past. Father God, increase my heart's capacity to breathe in wisdom, open my eyes to the Spirit of understanding.

Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." -C.S. Lewis

Still Reflection

I have undertaken the effort to be very intentional about my time spent in the word these past three weeks. Now, I readily acknowledge the inerrant power of the Word and its ability to help us hear the voice of God. But recently I heard a testimony from a friend about when he first decided to believe in Christ. He didn’t know much about God, but he had access to a Bible and he dove in, head first. He took it for face value. He took God at his Word—literally. Though he didn’t understand it, he knew the very act of reading and trying to retain even the smallest bit of these scriptures would be a life altering act. Thinking this way is what lead to my friend’s believing the Bible when it says “…In Christ you are new creation.” He decided it could only mean that he was an innocent man behind bars. His testimony now includes the miraculous way that God restored his life after time in prison. Taking the Word for what it says, like the fact that it doesn’t return to God without accomplishing its purpose, can take a lot of determination. This is a task that at times can be hard for a kid like me to do, seeming I grew up seeing the white haired Daniel who pet the kittens in the den and the ginormous Goliath mocking the scrawny Jr. higher David all against the backdrop of a green felt board. Some Biblical texts can become monotonous if you’re not careful. In light of my friend’s testimony and the focused prayer season that the I had the opportunity to take part in, I decided to go at my time in the Word with fresh eyes.

What better scripture to dive into then the all familiar Psalm 23. Here the felt board would’ve displayed a nice winding blue stream that trickled out of a nearby rock, a few white cotton ball lambs dreamily gazing up at the ruddy young David (somehow looking just like the one that threw a pebble at the giant—though this song of his was very likely written years apart from that). I found it so easy to just skim over the words, mentally completing the familiar phrases. I caught myself and read the passage again, trying to see how I could apply the specific verses in a personal way. That’s when verse 2 stuck out in a new way. Humor me will you? Take a deep breath before you read the familiar words…no presupposed ideas floating around without supervision please. ..

+Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

He leads me besides still waters…we often take this as refreshment, which is a fine interpretation. God does refresh us. But as I closed my eyes and let myself envision this strong, protective and loving Shepherd as we took a walk in my meadow I saw a wide river. The water was still, motionless; not to the point of stagnation, but to the point of reflection. Here, at this place where He makes me take time to rest, breathe and think, here we pause at the side of the river. And here I can see my reflection in the light of the glory that comes from the one with whom I walk.

With a still river residing in this meadow one would be able to hear the voice of the one who was with you. Is it possible that God leads us to the quiet places of rest so that we can reflect on the state of our lives? Maybe we are brought to such a place so that we are able to examine our relationship with God? As we look down at a reflection of ourselves, and we can clearly hear the voice that wants to guide us, maybe this is how our soul is restored. This is the place where we can be honest, stop hiding our faults as if God doesn’t already know, and let him lead us in the paths of righteousness that he has for us. After all, the Word says that he leads us there, not that we desperately search for the righteous paths. After reflection at the still waters, he simply leads as we submit.

Sounds like a nice concept, right? I think it is. But here is the catch (I never claimed there wasn’t one so stop rolling your eyes), we need to stop seeing the truths of the Word as pretty concepts. The messages that we hear from on the weekends or through the ear buds of an Ipod need to be more than a check on our To Do List. It’s time to take the Word for what it says. Take the time to listen to God. We can spend all our prayers crying out to him about how much we need direction, or how we need to hear from him, but if we don’t pause to listen and reflect, well we could be missing it. Take the decisive time to step away from the raging waters of your daily life and let this God who leads you in paths of righteousness take you to the still waters to reflect.

Preaching To the Choir

Every once and awhile a song will come along that I can only explain as an encounter. The artists involved in its creation probably heard its faint whispers from their vantage point whilst they were soaking before the Throne of the Grand Composer. Well recently I heard the song “All the Poor and Powerless” by Sons & Daughters. The lyrics, harmony and instruments tug on your heart. It has recently become the central soundtrack to where ever God is leading me right now.

The other day as this song’s lyrics were resonating in my thoughts I found myself reading the below scripture in which the ancient Prophet Ezekiel was reprimanding the spiritual leaders…

+Ezekiel 34: 4-6 You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty. ⁵ So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd, and they are easy prey for any wild animal. ⁶ They have wandered through all the mountains and all the hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them.

My heart quite literally breaks at passages like this. What a tragedy that God would ever have to speak out against the leaders of the Church. These very people who are supposed to be a picture of God to those around them—they are not even seeking out the lost. But can I say that today, here and now, we are really even beyond that? I am sure that you are able to come up with one or two ‘christians’ that could fall into the category of this scripture. Would someone else name you? Maybe I should instead ask whether you would name me?

I recently read a poem by a class mate that recounted her experience growing up in a ‘christian school.’ After lines about the rigidness of the program she writes, “God I am willing to acknowledge you/ But after twelve years of being forced to do so,/ I am not willing to step back into your house.” The saddest part about the conclusion of her poem is I can’t really blame her. Too often it seems many Christians, well meaning or not, have driven people away from the Church rather than welcoming them in. When I read this poem written by a friend I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and beg her to remember, the church is not GOD. GOD doesn’t disown you when you do wrong. He doesn’t disqualify the broken, and He doesn’t abandon the needy. But as I had this thought-- I felt my heart sink. No, the hurt people who dwell with in the walls of the church—they are not God himself. But should I really be pleading with someone to not view the church as God? The Church is supposed to put flesh to the Words and Actions of Christ.

One Sunday morning as I was singing in worship at my home church, the room was erupting and passionately singing out the lyrics “Shout it out, go on and tell it to the mountains, go on and scream it to the masses, that He is God.” I had to stop and think, are there those of us that actually go out and truly proclaim his goodness like we so comfortably sing from inside the walls of church? How many of us are really living lives that declare who the LORD of our life is? Are they walking out of these doors after singing these songs and screaming to the masses about our God? Am I?

I don’t have some super solution to the sickness I see in many parts of the Body of Christ, I know that many a church is being used in amazing ways. Not supposed to despise small beginnings right? Start small, start here. Live what you believe, let word and deed go together. I know there are genuine leaders and people in churches world-wide, I guess I am writing simply to ask you to allow your words and actions to not be contradictions. Help the word Christian deviate from being a synonym for judgment and hypocrites. Maybe we’ll reach a day where the cry won’t ever have to be uttered, “Jesus—save us from your followers.”

Love Much

+Luke 7:47 “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”

If I were to be entirely honest with a person sitting across from me at a coffee shop in regards to this verse, I would have to say that it haunted me for a time. My first reaction to reading this scripture is something akin to having wounded pride. The thought flickers through my mind, ‘just because I didn’t spend a season of my life purposefully walking away from God-am I only able to love others to a certain capacity?’ Maybe I even allowed myself to buy into this lie because it was a way to pacify my apathy when it came to love in action. These thoughts amongst others have lead to me grappling with the validity of a testimony that is surrounded by the walls of churches. Mine was a childhood surrounded by felt boards and Easter sunrise breakfasts (which I clearly remember sleeping through).

As I got older, and people would ask what my testimony was, I began to feel like didn’t have anything worth telling. I knew God had saved me, but was it possible that having grown up knowing about him from day one could have actually negated my ability to experience his grace in some way? God had miraculously rescued people in my life from life altering addictions, he had healed them from terminal illnesses, He had plucked them out of cycles of familial destruction. Me? I said a prayer when I was five years old. Big deal.

In the last few years God has begun to show me the reality behind the lie I had believed. In the very act of letting myself think this way I had begun to buy into the Pharisee’s propaganda, after all what had I been forgiven of? You know, since I had grown up in church.

+James 2:10 And the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God’s law.

Just because my sins have been so much more inverted then that of someone who found salvation on the streets doesn’t mean I’ve been saved from any less. The question that I now have had to wrestle with is whether my hypocritical tendencies are worse than an open disobedience. But does it matter? I can’t judge the actions and heart of another when I have been hiding behind the faith of my parents for half of my life. In the past years I came face to face with the ugliness of religious routine. I found that it traveled often with it’s best friend of being offended quickly. But my life, though it may not be a spiritual Cinderella at first glance, is all the same a testament to the faithfulness of a powerful and loving God. Is a shattered life put back together any more miraculous then the whole piece of glass remaining intact?

No matter that state you find yourself in—you have a story to tell about God’s grace at work in you. This truth has only become all the more clear as I continue to be privy to the stories of other’s lives. Never take for granted the chapter God has written for you. Don’t write yourself out of it by assuming someone else is better or lower than you.

I have been forgiven for all the things I’ve thought, for all the things I’ve done and for all the things I would have done if I didn’t have the people in my life God has blessed me with. My one lie, my one hard hearted response to God-more than qualified me for separation from my Savior. Yet I find myself with a melancholy smile playing on my lips this night, as I am—underneath it all—content. I’ve been forgiven much. God help me to also love much.