Diving into glorious misery of self dissatisfaction...read that carefully..sounds like a crazy depression party right? By no means-this title is my weekend and a commitment in my life-in a nutshell. This past weekend my church had the awesome blessing of hosting the Desperation Youth Conference. It was amazing!!! Absolutely amazing, and I can't even try and explain all the awesome things God did so I am going to tell you about one particular seminar that pierced my heart. David Perkins, is an amazing man of God, when I look at him I see many characteristics that I want to strive for in my life. Saturday afternoon I was able to go to a seminar David was teaching entitled Zealots. He centered it around the scripture found in Romans 12:11- I like how the NIV says it best- "Never be lacking in zeal, but have spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."
He spoke so plainly and passionately about what it looks like to live as a zealot for God. To live a life that is centered around KNOWING God. Not just knowing about him, or who he is, or even knowing him a little-but your life goal and purpose is to KNOW God. David spoke all about standing up for what is righteous without a second thought. Stand up for what is righteous when those around you aren't able to, when they aren't strong enough to do so. When they look at you and begin to feel uncomfortable they will say "you think you're better than us!" NO! Thats not is at all. Just say that you are standing up for what is right for you and for them. After all, Jesus most certainly offended people. He didnt live to offend but he lived to KNOW God, and if that offended people-tough! The abandoned lifestyle that David described was one that he could testify to having lived. And if he lived it, I want to follow.
He gave some points on how to get there and the one that most resonated with me was-
To Get dissatisfied with yourself.
In order to strive to live zealously you can't be okay with where youre at. You must long to KNOW God more. And a great way to want more is to get really fascinated with Jesus. When youre focusing on him you will more clearly see how Jesus' heart worked and begin to live accordingly. He also said to get around someone who brings out the best in you-some spiritual leader in your life that is somewhere you want to be. Being around those people who are so on fire and so desperate create in you a GLORIOUS MISERY. You become so dissatisfied with where you are that you will try to get all you can out of these leaders in your life. Read what they read- listen to what they do and take their advice.Take their hand and lay it on your forehead ans say "I want what you have! Pray for me!!!!" You look at where you are and where they are-you become dissatisfied with where you are but encouraged to see that you can get so much closer to GOD!!!
Another thing that was a GREAT encouragement to me was how he said that you don't have to know what youre called to do-long before that you must know what you were created to do- and that is to KNOW GOD. Live to KNOW him and let the chips fall! Be abandoned in the way you seek to know your living Lord. "I give you permission to be a zealot, to live out loud." By the time David was concluding his seminar I was near tears, God had come and stirred my heart so deeply with a longing so REAL..it felt physical, OH GOD I WANT THAT!!! I was screaming inside-Lord I dont live that way but SOOOOOO want to! GOD I WANT THAT!!!!! I WANT TO KNOW YOU!
"Never be lacking in zeal...." NEVER. Not just 'be zealous when youre at church, when your on a mission trip NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL!" Thats not me..not yet....
So here I am, ready to dive into a state of glorious misery where I am dissatisfied with myself. Imagine what that would look like- an entire generation that cared for nothing else but to KNOW God. How would you do that? What would it look like....it would look like zealots who have spiritual fervor. Abandoned now and always, as a zealot living to KNOW God. If you-whoever you are- ever see me straying from this state-straying from living to KNOW God and GOD alone- come along side me and then smack me! And say "Would an abandoned zealot do that?" Thats what I want to be, thats where I'm headed. Lets throw all else aside and live to KNOW God-ask me what I'm going to 'do.' Know God, what about you??
yours truly,
an abandoned zealot in glorious misery
-Cassie
Diving into glorious misery of self dissatisfaction
A Tale of The Advocate and the Accused
"For Christ has entered into Heaven itself to appear now before God as our Advocate." Hebrews 9:24
"All rise." The assembly rises as the Guilty Accused enters with head hung. But beside them walks the One Who Pleads on behalf of all the Guilty. The Just One speaks and proclaims "All the sin before my eyes is to much. I have promised to destroy the wickedness of all so it shall not enter into my holy place. I wont break my promise, my heart breaks, but you must pas the cost of the life you've chosen to live" The Accused nods in agreement and understanding, for all the Just said was true. "Present your Defense." The Accused steps forward but can't even look into the One Just Judge's eyes that brim with tears over the chosen fate of the Guilty. The Accused crumbles to the floor in pain as their very heart breaks inside them for how they've grieved their Father.
At this The Advocate steps forward. As He places a steady hand on the shoulder of the now shaking Guilty he begins, "just One, all you've said is true. The cost must be paid according to the ancient covenant. But I call to your remembrance the BLOOD shed on a hill one fateful eve not so long ago. Behold evidence 316." At this the assebmly seems to stand still as the arch angels present a pile of what seems to be grave clothes. "Behold Just Father, the garments of my resurrection. Do not forget your covenant with all the accused. If they believe in their hearts and declare with their mouths that I, Your Son, am Lord and Redemer- will you not turn Your anger from them? Here I present the solution. If my beloved Guilty one signs their life to the pursiuit of your heart- to be a servant to our ways- my BLOOD and that of the new covenant shall cover them. The cost has already been paid, if they so choose to embrace it."
The Just looks to the Accused who still, ashamed at their filth, covers their face. "Child, dearest child, Your Advocate's case is approved! Sign your name dear one! All debts have been paid. Take the gift in your hands." Accused tries to stand to sign, but can not. The Advocate comes and lifts them to their feet to help them to the table to sign. As the Advocate helps them stand they sign it. The Advocate declared,"Now speak, I loose your lips Child!"
The Accused begins through their tears,"My life, heart, future and hopes are yours and in your hands-you are LORD and REDEEMER!" In a flash of light a dark forms seems to be pulled from the body of the Once Accused and is thrown to the opposite side of the room. The assembly watches as the form is nailed to to the ancient tree that once held the Advocate. The ear spliting sound of stone pounding iron breaks across the room then silence falls. As the once acused now looks to the Just they see that the sound was His gavel, the sound of a covenant approved. Sound of debt paid.
Once Accused runs to the Advocate's arms and begins to thank him. "Dear child, you have been Redeemed. I loved you all to much to let you suffer the fate you so readily seemed to embrace. Thus the Just Father and Judge created the altar and sacrifice! Now, to seal this forever." The Advocate reached out his hand and placed it over the Redeemed's arm. With a warm spark exploding within their arm the Advocate removes His hand. "Here, now, my name is upon your arm. For you are MINE. Now all will know you belong to ME."
At this the Just Father and Judge reaches out to the Redeemed. "Come into my arms and know that you are forgiven. Now your burden is broken and your yoke can be light!" They embraced and Redeemed stepped away.
"Hear this now, write this in the ancient book. This child once accused and guilty, has had their debt paid and is Redeemed by the BLOOD of the Perfect Sacrifice and by the TESTIMONY of the Advocate!" A great cheer was raised through out all of the assembly. "Now belvoed go tell the other guilty of all you've seen and heard. Remembering always the cost paid for your second life you now live. Walk in our love and lead others to the day of their case with our Holy Advocate. You my lovely, now know the path that leads here well! Now go and win the prize- you are Redeemed!"
"That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him...Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it." Hebrews 4:14,16
Live to make "wet eyes proud"
Wet Eyes- an excerpt from "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy
Wet eyes are watching you! The moist eyes of Jesus, tenderly longing for you to let go of your life and hold fast to Him. His eyes are gentle as they see you stumble and scrape your knee in sin once again. He doesn't kick you when you're down, but rather he carefully stabilizes you with His mercy and grace, and helps you to your feet. He is so patient when you falter, and is ever faithful to forgive you.
His eyes are smiling as they find you longing to please Him.
Just as the little three year old child picks up a crayon and scribbles a masterpiece for his earthly father, so you scribble your very best rendition of a life honoring to your Father in heaven. And even though He might not be able to tell if it is a picture o Him or a hippo, your little scribbles of love mean everything yo you God.
His eyes are also full of pride as they observe you trusting Him. He, more than anyone, knows how difficult it is to stand against the tide. He simply wants an ordinary person to trust His nature and character, and to test His perfect faithfulness. And as Oswald Chambers has said, "If we deliberately choose to obey God, then he will tax the remotest star and the last grain of sand to assist us with all His almighty power."
Wet eyes are watching you. The caring eyes of heaven have spent too many years burning with tears of pain over your life and mine. Let us choose today to bless God's heart with the gift of loving him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Let's make those wet eyes proud.
Wow. I don't know about you, but those words touched my heart. God most definitely is using his children today to speak God inspired truths to his people. That made my eyes wet!
I just finished reading Driven By Eternity by John Bevere before reading this book by the Ludys. After that book God really challenged me to examine my heart and its motives. I began to question some of the things I've done and whether I had done it with a heart wanting to please God.
But I so do. My hearts cry is to live in a way that brings a smile to my Father and Lover's lips. And one line that particularly pricked my heart strings was where it says "His eyes are smiling as they find you longing to please him." He sees our hearts, and has seen how desperately I've tried to walk in his ways. He is so quick to forgive, I can't wrap my mind around it-I can only ask him to conform my mind to that of his! As I was listening to the simple truths revealed in the excerpt above God spoke something to my heart, and I feel like some of your hearts out there-in big wide cyber space- need to hear these same words from your father. Remember that he is the one who says "I have set the stars in place and I am the one who says to Israel 'You are mine!" (Isa. 51:16)
This same living and loving God spoke these tender words from his heart directly to mine and wants you to hear them as well, read it slowly and let him play the heartstrings of your beloved heart.
"I watch as you carefully try and draw a picture of life as you see it outlines in my word. Then when I see you color outside of the lines I fell a prick of pain because I know youre trying-but I have to show you that you messed up. I tell you in the most loving way because I don't want you to think I don't like your picture, I just want you to have the best picture possible. How my heart swells with love and pride as your tender heart receives my discipline and instruction; as you erase your mistake and try again. Such a beautiful picture you draw. Little do you know that this one picture of life you diligently work on is just one piece of the much bigger picture I have written on the hearts of my beloved children across time."
We can't accept our Daddy's love and forgiveness then rub his good name in the dirt. We must see the error of our ways and begin to live to make our Daddy's wet eyes proud. Run home to his open arms. When we fall, don't assume we have no hope. Jesus' name holds all the hope we need. His hands contain all the strength we need. And Jesus' heart is exploding with all the love we could ever need. Let him wrap you in his merciful arms and then begin to live in order to make His eyes brimming with tears proud.
"He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." -Psalm 103:12-13
Dont Blink
This morning at my church Pastor Jon continued our series-Relationship Revolution. PJ spoke on parenting. Why would I decide to blog after hearing a message on parenting? I'm not a parent. No but I have them and I know A LOT of kids who have them, or the lack there of. He shared how quickly your kids can grow up. Well me, I'm on the reverse end of the spectrum-I'm the kid. The one who grows up in the 'blink of an eye.' All the days of being little and having no responsibility are gone. Youre only little for a short time, enjoy it while you can, be thankful for the little things. While my parents have watched me grow up fast, all the time I have with them has gone by fast. Im graduated and going to college, when did that happen? Over a short 14 or so years I've went from the little kid in sunday school to God blessing me with an awesome church where he's implemented me as a leader and drawn me deeper into his arms than I ever thought possible..who blinked? Was it me or my parents?
I don't want to ever come to a place where I take God's blessing for granted. Lately some of those blessings hes been dealing with for me, are my parents. They are AMAZING!!!! God is so great to bless me in this way. So that is one of the first things I got out of the message.
Pastor Jon also shared some things that some jr highers shared anonymously in relation to their parents. They said how much it hurt when their mom or dad dissaproved, or things like "my parents say I never tell them that I love them, but I do and they just never listen." Things like this. Their notes broke my heart. As I was thinking about that, and how many hurting people produce hurting kids God spoke to me. While any parents makes mistakes, God's grace covers all mistakes, but you have to go to him and repent and turn from your sinful ways. So for the kids and teens and now adults who have had hard relationships with their parents I pray for! God will fill the needs in his children's lives. Those whose parents werent always there, whose dad left, whose mom never listens, God will bring others into you life! If the parents dont come to a place of humbling themselves before God and heading down the right path God will bring those role models, the ones who will invest their time, love and heart into these hurting kids. God is the ultimate Father to the fatherless. He is so merciful that he hears the 14 year old daughter's cries for a father that loves her, and he comes in to fill the need then puts a godly man of integrity in her life to show her that she deserves better. The son that tries his best to impress his father but just gets beat later that night is restored to his Heavenly father and sees that he doesnt have to follow suit, he can break the cycle. God will hold up the weak, there is always hope in him, but he wants us as christains to do our part.
God spoke to my heart through the Jr Highers comments. He said "You hear that, you say you want to be the face of love to the people around you? You want to reach out with my hands, have my heart? This breaks my heart. My children are hurting and you can be one of those who fills the void." yeah. Soak that in. Every kind word I say to the hurting, every hug and smile is a balm that can be placed on their hurting hearts. God wants us to reach out, why not start out with the ones you see every week. While I cant be a mom to these people, I can love on them. I can let God work on my selfish tendancies and show my to love even more unconditionally. God please do that!
In conlcusion, if you can, jump on itunes.com and search for Resurrection Life Chruch of Richland and listen to these messges. God is awesome. I am going to be thankful for the little things and not take it all for advantage. I'm going to look at the Jr Highers in a different light, not in a pity, but genuine compassion and love knowing that God can use me to heal the hurts they have. Lastly, I'm not going to blink.
God, I can hardly find words to tell you whats on my heart. Thank you for how youve spoken to me and numerous others on all of this. HELP me to be more thankful, more selfless. God I SOOOOO want to be someone to love on those who are hurting. Help me to not get selfish and prideful, let me always look for ways to be used by you. Ways to make the lasting impression on the people around me. Ways to tell others about you, to leave a lasting legacy. Help me to store up gold and silver not just stray. Lord you are so loving, so merciful, thank you that we can always be redeemed in you..God no words can say it better than THANK YOU. Use us God!
Lay Down My Guns
I came across this on youtube. I've loved Sanctus Real for awhile now, and I love the song Lay Down My Guns from their most recently released album, We Need Eachother. This interview is with Matt Hammitt the lead sing on the subject of that song and then there is a video that is amazing...please watch it. Its intense. I hope it gives you hope in your life that we can find rest in GOD and also, I hope it moves you to pray for our soldiers and the leaders of this country. We are blessed to live here, even when its hard to remember that, its none the less true.
Interview with Matt Hammitt...
JFH (John): What's the story behind "Lay Down My Guns?"
Matt: There's this guy named Doug McKelvey who contributed some of the lyrics for "I'm Not Alright" on the last record and he was really the first cowrite we used with the band besides producers who had contributed stuff here and there. What he had basically done with that song, "I'm Not Alright," is he came in and had done such a good job with helping us edit the lyrics and taking them to the next level. So we had been looking to get stuff from him ever since, if it works. So instead of just cowriting, he'd send us some random lyrics. We actually weren't going to use any outside writers on this record, and then Doug sent over kind of a b-file of extra lyrics and he had a worship song that had the line, "Lay down your guns, lift up your hands." And I just liked that one line. We didn't use any of the other lyrics and I basically wrote a whole new concept on that one line, and then even changed that line a little bit. Because it immediately made me think of the war that's going on right now and what soldiers go through, and just thinking of these guys away from their families for so long... They basically live to defend themselves in our country. And how good does it feel when you can finally come home and set your guns down and be able to not be on your guard anymore. Just be able to have that release, y'know? And then it made me think of how that's life too. That, while we're on this earth, kind of like spiritually and emotionally, we have so many defenses up all of the time that we have to have because we have an enemy. What would it feel like? How good would it feel to get to heaven and lay down our guns and lift up our hands and learn to completely love again. It's really just a metaphor using the war in Iraq as a metaphor for our spiritual journey. I like that song a lot.
