Uganda: Pearl Of Africa

I was thinking how its a funny thing, pearls. We all know the nice redemptive story of how the precious stone is created. Some piece of sand gets lodged in an oyster, the living organism of the oyster then over time coats the granular and produces the sought after pearl. It’s your classic Cinderella story—with a bit of a Little Mermaid twist I suppose. Britain’s Prime Minister, Winston Churchill visited the luscious country of Uganda in 1907 and was the first to call it the “Pearl of Africa.” While Churchill was referencing the landscape in this now war torn country, the 24-million people who call the place home are the ones who truly make the land precious.

You may have received many a letter from me over the past few years. However, some of you may be new friends whom I have not shared this part of my heart with. Where ever you fall into that sphere of friendship with me and my family I would ask you to take a moment to let me share a piece of the burden God has placed within me. I have always been enamored with trains, planes, maps, adventures, and stories of lives changed. Growing up I didn’t understand why I had such a draw towards these topics, not until the first time I was offered the chance to travel to a far off country to share God’s love. That’s when it all clicked. This passion for far off places and daring adventures was God’s way of whispering his longings to reach a people often overlooked. Since this realization God has lead me to three foreign countries and an outlook changing week in the slums of Los Angeles. Through this I’ve been blessed beyond words by many of you repeatedly supporting me. Now I am asking that you don’t allow this recurring, neatly folded letter to become white noise. I believe I’ve been allowed to go on these trips in the past, in preparation to step out and take a trip back to continent that stole my heart on my first trip in 2007 to South Africa.

This time I don’t have any details to share of how I and 20 others from my church are crossing the ocean to reach out to the people of Uganda. This time—its just me. I am joining Ugandan Pastor, Jackson Sangoya, the founder of Christian Life Ministries on a trip to Seeta, Uganda July 14-August 1. I have discovered how there has never been any quicker way to reduce me to tears then to share the plea of this war torn country. I have often said how I need the occasional reality check, whether that is in the form of a memoir of someone who has lived through unspeakable circumstances, or watching a film about true events. When I popped in the documentary “Invisible Children” to watch one afternoon a few years back, I had no idea what God was getting ready to do in my heart. As the film detailed the lives of these children who are forced into a life of killing, my heart broke. I sobbed uncontrollably as it showed children weeping over their lost parents, many of whom had been killed at their own hand. This is a country that has been torn apart by an internal war for over 20 years, and none of the people who live there have been able to stay indifferent. They have all been affected, whether their children were kidnapped by the LRA (a rebel army) and forced to be soldiers, or they watched their siblings brutally kill their parents, or they perhaps have witnessed a loved one slowly pass away as a result of AIDS. In one way or another, this once beautiful country has become a waste land of overlooked humanity.

With the growing desire to go and love on the people of this country, I decided that if I didn’t act on it soon, the opportunity would pass me by. I felt like God was saying this was the year to step out. With Christian Life Ministries I will be spending most of my time in the villages of Seeta and Lira. Seeta is a village that is committed to providing a home for many widows and women who suffer from HIV. While many of these woman have lost their children to the LRA’s cruelty, the ministry has began to bring back their joy by allowing them to be house moms for some of the thousands of orphans cared for by CLM. In Lira, the ministry has created a fresh start place for the surviving young victims of the LRA to recover and re-learn what it is like to live life outside of being a war criminal. I will have the amazing opportunity to help the house moms at these villages, serve them in the name of Christ and to love on them as well as the kid who stay there. For me to go, I still need to raise $3000 by June 30. If you feel lead to support me financially you can write a tax deductible check to Christian Life Ministries.

So friends and family, I just want to update you on how things are going as I have been raising money for my trip this summer. Along with the support letters I have sent out, I have been doing a text book drive and a garage sale of sorts to raise the funds. At this point I have about a third of the funds that I need in order to go to Uganda. At this juncture I would ask you to continue to partner with me in prayer over the people I will encounter as well as the fundraising process. I also want to ask if you would consider supporting me financially if you haven’t already? I of course want to thank those of you who have year after year helped me go to these places that God opens the door to- you are irreplaceable. You are all such a blessing, thank you for everything.

My hope is that perhaps the beautiful people of Uganda will yet be known for their love and joy that can be found in Christ. Maybe the country’s appearance as an insignificant grain of sand can still be seen transformed into a pearl once more. Maybe what they need is someone like you to reach out. Maybe you’re able to go someday or maybe you’re able to give.I don’t think that I am some super hero who will single handedly change the nation in three weeks. But what I do know is that I feel called there. Not everyone is, not everyone has to go. But I feel like I have to be obedient to what God has laid on my heart, and I can’t do that without your help. Thank you for considering supporting me, and investing in the Pearl of Africa.

Thoughts on direction..

+Ephesians 1:8,17(NLT) He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding...asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

I have been praying a lot lately that God would just give me some divine direction in some decisions that I have at this stage of my life. It seems like at every turn there is a potentially life altering decision to be made, and that is a reality that strikes an indecisive person like me with fear. I know that any decision made out of fear is tainted and may cloud my discernment in what God is trying to tell me. I also know that I want to make my decisions with a foundation of faith- confident that my God can creatively intervene in any situation as he works all things to my good. (Rom 8:28)

This morning as I sit at a Starbucks in the beautiful city of Colorado Springs, the sun is shining out side the window, the breeze is waltzing with the bare branches of the trees and the Rocky mountains frame a picturesque sky. With this majestic sight before me I came across the above verses. With a gently whisper that I imagine was akin to the voice God chose to speak to Elijah with in the mountain side cave I heard something pressing on my heart. The Father simply whispered, "What if your asking for direction is a request slightly off aim? Ask for understanding, ask for wisdom. These things will lead you to a deeper knowledge of me. Once you know me more deeply- direction comes naturally, and it wont be something to fear. Isn't a clearer understanding of me a more precious treasure then a revelation of the next 6 months of your life? Do you trust that I have your every day written in my book?"

The admonishment of James 4:2-3 came to mind. I was asking God for direction, but were my motives misdirected? I know God does not look down on my asking for direction, it isn't that I felt he was correcting me for some wrong doing. He wants to bless me, the Spirit has promised to lead me into all Truth. If I change my prayer focus from clear direction, to deeper wisdom- the decisions that lead to my future and its direction will fall naturally in line with his will and heart for me.

I know that some things God speaks to us is a personal word, but with the joy I find in writing, I felt this was another gentle lesson that God may have to teach you too. Maybe it was just a lesson God wanted to open my eyes to, maybe my motives were slightly askew from what they should be as I sought God's will for my life;his will for the next year of my life. But if this is for you to hear, then please read it and take it to heart. Maybe God is calling you to deeper knowledge of him, and that may mean letting go of the strict ten year plan you created when you were in 8th grade. Maybe God is calling you to a spontaneous life that is lead daily by reliance on him; daily trust. No prayer is over looked by God, but if he impresses on me a way to pray that is more in line with his heart-wouldn't I be a fool to over look it?

God forgive me for seeking direction alone. I was looking at that prayer as a means to an end. I was asking for quick definitive answers and was missing out on the joy that can be found in creatively discovering the next chapter of life you've written for me. Holy Spirit, thank you for leading me into all Truth. Help me to rely on you, may I invite you into my every day, every decision, trusting that you are imparting wisdom freely as I ask for it. May the wisdom and understanding that you reveal to me lead me deeper in to you. Above all else- God- if I am closer to you, to your heart, my life will be enriched so much more then having my life plan cemented. May I never forget the faithfulness you've displayed in my life in the past. Father God, increase my heart's capacity to breathe in wisdom, open my eyes to the Spirit of understanding.

Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." -C.S. Lewis

Still Reflection

I have undertaken the effort to be very intentional about my time spent in the word these past three weeks. Now, I readily acknowledge the inerrant power of the Word and its ability to help us hear the voice of God. But recently I heard a testimony from a friend about when he first decided to believe in Christ. He didn’t know much about God, but he had access to a Bible and he dove in, head first. He took it for face value. He took God at his Word—literally. Though he didn’t understand it, he knew the very act of reading and trying to retain even the smallest bit of these scriptures would be a life altering act. Thinking this way is what lead to my friend’s believing the Bible when it says “…In Christ you are new creation.” He decided it could only mean that he was an innocent man behind bars. His testimony now includes the miraculous way that God restored his life after time in prison. Taking the Word for what it says, like the fact that it doesn’t return to God without accomplishing its purpose, can take a lot of determination. This is a task that at times can be hard for a kid like me to do, seeming I grew up seeing the white haired Daniel who pet the kittens in the den and the ginormous Goliath mocking the scrawny Jr. higher David all against the backdrop of a green felt board. Some Biblical texts can become monotonous if you’re not careful. In light of my friend’s testimony and the focused prayer season that the I had the opportunity to take part in, I decided to go at my time in the Word with fresh eyes.

What better scripture to dive into then the all familiar Psalm 23. Here the felt board would’ve displayed a nice winding blue stream that trickled out of a nearby rock, a few white cotton ball lambs dreamily gazing up at the ruddy young David (somehow looking just like the one that threw a pebble at the giant—though this song of his was very likely written years apart from that). I found it so easy to just skim over the words, mentally completing the familiar phrases. I caught myself and read the passage again, trying to see how I could apply the specific verses in a personal way. That’s when verse 2 stuck out in a new way. Humor me will you? Take a deep breath before you read the familiar words…no presupposed ideas floating around without supervision please. ..

+Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

He leads me besides still waters…we often take this as refreshment, which is a fine interpretation. God does refresh us. But as I closed my eyes and let myself envision this strong, protective and loving Shepherd as we took a walk in my meadow I saw a wide river. The water was still, motionless; not to the point of stagnation, but to the point of reflection. Here, at this place where He makes me take time to rest, breathe and think, here we pause at the side of the river. And here I can see my reflection in the light of the glory that comes from the one with whom I walk.

With a still river residing in this meadow one would be able to hear the voice of the one who was with you. Is it possible that God leads us to the quiet places of rest so that we can reflect on the state of our lives? Maybe we are brought to such a place so that we are able to examine our relationship with God? As we look down at a reflection of ourselves, and we can clearly hear the voice that wants to guide us, maybe this is how our soul is restored. This is the place where we can be honest, stop hiding our faults as if God doesn’t already know, and let him lead us in the paths of righteousness that he has for us. After all, the Word says that he leads us there, not that we desperately search for the righteous paths. After reflection at the still waters, he simply leads as we submit.

Sounds like a nice concept, right? I think it is. But here is the catch (I never claimed there wasn’t one so stop rolling your eyes), we need to stop seeing the truths of the Word as pretty concepts. The messages that we hear from on the weekends or through the ear buds of an Ipod need to be more than a check on our To Do List. It’s time to take the Word for what it says. Take the time to listen to God. We can spend all our prayers crying out to him about how much we need direction, or how we need to hear from him, but if we don’t pause to listen and reflect, well we could be missing it. Take the decisive time to step away from the raging waters of your daily life and let this God who leads you in paths of righteousness take you to the still waters to reflect.

Preaching To the Choir

Every once and awhile a song will come along that I can only explain as an encounter. The artists involved in its creation probably heard its faint whispers from their vantage point whilst they were soaking before the Throne of the Grand Composer. Well recently I heard the song “All the Poor and Powerless” by Sons & Daughters. The lyrics, harmony and instruments tug on your heart. It has recently become the central soundtrack to where ever God is leading me right now.

The other day as this song’s lyrics were resonating in my thoughts I found myself reading the below scripture in which the ancient Prophet Ezekiel was reprimanding the spiritual leaders…

+Ezekiel 34: 4-6 You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty. ⁵ So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd, and they are easy prey for any wild animal. ⁶ They have wandered through all the mountains and all the hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them.

My heart quite literally breaks at passages like this. What a tragedy that God would ever have to speak out against the leaders of the Church. These very people who are supposed to be a picture of God to those around them—they are not even seeking out the lost. But can I say that today, here and now, we are really even beyond that? I am sure that you are able to come up with one or two ‘christians’ that could fall into the category of this scripture. Would someone else name you? Maybe I should instead ask whether you would name me?

I recently read a poem by a class mate that recounted her experience growing up in a ‘christian school.’ After lines about the rigidness of the program she writes, “God I am willing to acknowledge you/ But after twelve years of being forced to do so,/ I am not willing to step back into your house.” The saddest part about the conclusion of her poem is I can’t really blame her. Too often it seems many Christians, well meaning or not, have driven people away from the Church rather than welcoming them in. When I read this poem written by a friend I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and beg her to remember, the church is not GOD. GOD doesn’t disown you when you do wrong. He doesn’t disqualify the broken, and He doesn’t abandon the needy. But as I had this thought-- I felt my heart sink. No, the hurt people who dwell with in the walls of the church—they are not God himself. But should I really be pleading with someone to not view the church as God? The Church is supposed to put flesh to the Words and Actions of Christ.

One Sunday morning as I was singing in worship at my home church, the room was erupting and passionately singing out the lyrics “Shout it out, go on and tell it to the mountains, go on and scream it to the masses, that He is God.” I had to stop and think, are there those of us that actually go out and truly proclaim his goodness like we so comfortably sing from inside the walls of church? How many of us are really living lives that declare who the LORD of our life is? Are they walking out of these doors after singing these songs and screaming to the masses about our God? Am I?

I don’t have some super solution to the sickness I see in many parts of the Body of Christ, I know that many a church is being used in amazing ways. Not supposed to despise small beginnings right? Start small, start here. Live what you believe, let word and deed go together. I know there are genuine leaders and people in churches world-wide, I guess I am writing simply to ask you to allow your words and actions to not be contradictions. Help the word Christian deviate from being a synonym for judgment and hypocrites. Maybe we’ll reach a day where the cry won’t ever have to be uttered, “Jesus—save us from your followers.”

Love Much

+Luke 7:47 “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”

If I were to be entirely honest with a person sitting across from me at a coffee shop in regards to this verse, I would have to say that it haunted me for a time. My first reaction to reading this scripture is something akin to having wounded pride. The thought flickers through my mind, ‘just because I didn’t spend a season of my life purposefully walking away from God-am I only able to love others to a certain capacity?’ Maybe I even allowed myself to buy into this lie because it was a way to pacify my apathy when it came to love in action. These thoughts amongst others have lead to me grappling with the validity of a testimony that is surrounded by the walls of churches. Mine was a childhood surrounded by felt boards and Easter sunrise breakfasts (which I clearly remember sleeping through).

As I got older, and people would ask what my testimony was, I began to feel like didn’t have anything worth telling. I knew God had saved me, but was it possible that having grown up knowing about him from day one could have actually negated my ability to experience his grace in some way? God had miraculously rescued people in my life from life altering addictions, he had healed them from terminal illnesses, He had plucked them out of cycles of familial destruction. Me? I said a prayer when I was five years old. Big deal.

In the last few years God has begun to show me the reality behind the lie I had believed. In the very act of letting myself think this way I had begun to buy into the Pharisee’s propaganda, after all what had I been forgiven of? You know, since I had grown up in church.

+James 2:10 And the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as the person who has broken all of God’s law.

Just because my sins have been so much more inverted then that of someone who found salvation on the streets doesn’t mean I’ve been saved from any less. The question that I now have had to wrestle with is whether my hypocritical tendencies are worse than an open disobedience. But does it matter? I can’t judge the actions and heart of another when I have been hiding behind the faith of my parents for half of my life. In the past years I came face to face with the ugliness of religious routine. I found that it traveled often with it’s best friend of being offended quickly. But my life, though it may not be a spiritual Cinderella at first glance, is all the same a testament to the faithfulness of a powerful and loving God. Is a shattered life put back together any more miraculous then the whole piece of glass remaining intact?

No matter that state you find yourself in—you have a story to tell about God’s grace at work in you. This truth has only become all the more clear as I continue to be privy to the stories of other’s lives. Never take for granted the chapter God has written for you. Don’t write yourself out of it by assuming someone else is better or lower than you.

I have been forgiven for all the things I’ve thought, for all the things I’ve done and for all the things I would have done if I didn’t have the people in my life God has blessed me with. My one lie, my one hard hearted response to God-more than qualified me for separation from my Savior. Yet I find myself with a melancholy smile playing on my lips this night, as I am—underneath it all—content. I’ve been forgiven much. God help me to also love much.

As a Result

                God did it again. You know, when he sneaks up behind you and puts his finger on that one lesson that you've learned one thousand times before-but got so busy and distracted that your forgot it again? Yeah, he did that to me. I was reading during my God time and came across a verse I had already underlined in my Bible. This means of course that I at some point found it profound and wanted to remember it. However this day as I read over the verse one single phrase stuck out.

 
 

+ 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13 (NLT) "And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows. ¹³ May he, as a result, make your hearts strong, blameless, and holy as you stand before God our Father when our Lord Jesus comes again with all his holy people. Amen."

 
 

Did you catch it? Paul is encouraging the believers to continue in the pouring out of their lives in love. We all know about the times that Jesus specifically shared how the greatest commandment, even about the Law of Moses, is to LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and to LOVE your neighbor as yourself. (Matt 22:34) How far we stray from this reality of faith! How many churches make the Gospel all about the style of music they play, or the color of the carpet-or my personal favorite, the version of Bible you read. That's a deal breaker. No, Jesus on more than one occasion stressed what the hinge of the door of salvation was-love. To love God, and to love others.

 

Now while many a church is debating whether the keyboard is worse than a drum set there are many Christians who are working on their spiritual complexion. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not just harping on churches. I love church. I love the body of Christ; there is just the reality that many who claim to be part of this body are actually currently taking a saw-zaw to their ankle. I don't feel too horrible about calling out the pride filled Christian because I've been there. I've been self focused and misdirected. But God's grace and loving family have helped me realign my own focus. Like I said, we as 'the church' can get so wrapped up on achieving holiness that we forget the reason that we are to be holy. God called us to be holy-for he is holy. But his holiness draws the lost to repentance. It's always about others; it's never been just about you. We have to stop getting so caught up in fixing ourselves that we stand right in front of a person and watch them crumble, and we never lift a finger from our own face to help them.

 

I want to propose to you that you should stop fixing yourself. Some friends and I have been discussing this and it just keeps coming up. Now this isn't to say that we ignore our own problems, Jesus also addresses hypocrisy. Yes grow, be challenged and address the issues in yourself-but not at the expense of the people in your life. If we would open our eyes, if we would stop looking in the mirror then maybe, just maybe, others would have the chance to see the piece of God you've been so zealously polishing and hording. If you read the scripture I mentioned again, it says that God is working out love in our life, so that it over flows—and as a result we become strong and blameless and holy. And isn't the Bride of Christ supposed to be spotless and holy? How else are we ever going to get there without love?

Love other people today. Let God do a work of holiness in you. He calls us to be holy like he is holy-and he is love, as a result, God will see us as holy.

 

 

 

“Summer Air from Somewhere”

Summer air symphony outside my window,

Riding on the fresh after breath of the moon.

What if I could catch you in a jar and study your unique tune?

Who is it that directs with sounds so sweet?

Do the stars twinkle to keep the time?

I wonder whether the crickets know their strings were assembled by the Divine.

The breeze that builds the acoustics so resounding,

Helps to amplify the trees rustling percussion.

Me? I am just a passerby who paused as I sauntered past the amphitheater.

This one located at the somewhere along the intersection between dream and thought.

I marvel at the harmony so true-

A sound hardly touched by ivory and wood.

This summer's symphony will soon give way to autumns textures and colors,

A canvas composed of artistic picture rather than a midnight song.

No matter the lyric, artistry or allure-the author tis all the same.

He is the one who sings the melody, a thread woven through all our joy or pain.

Heavy notes of love and faithfulness-so soothing for one to hear.

So whether you sleep, wake or rise-

Remember who you are in this grand composer's eyes.

End the question of the summer air from somewhere-the source is deeply known.

When it next comes to mind-take the time,

To listen to that which is sung around the throne.

A summer air's song from somewhere.

The Door Unopened

As usual, I have found a new meaning in a portion of scripture I've never seen enlightened before. A new dawning of understanding came over me as I was reading through the ministry of Peter and his adventures in Acts. I found myself reading the account of when he was in prison and has a miraculous release from his bonds. I previously blogged about how God spoke to me having a grasp on the vision for your dreams and future in "Following your vision out of the prison." This time around through Acts God placed his finger on another arena entirely. He was making my throat close and heart pound at the question-do you love me enough to wait for me?

You see, once Peter was lead out of

the prison in Acts 12, we then see him coming to the home of friends who were interceding on his behalf while in bondage. Now this is one of those instances that this narrative of Peter may not have been inspired by the Spirit for this exact illustration-but God wanted to speak to me, and I believe you, on this subject-and this particular passage is what he used. As Peter arrives at the door, the people inside are praying their guts out for him. They want him to just magically show up. They are praying a prayer that most in the back of their m

inds may be thinking, if ONLY he would just miraculously show up at our door-if ONLY God was supernaturally deliver him! And then, the most amazing thing happens. As the people in the house are eagerly and ardently seeking God for Peter to be with them-a knock on the door is heard. A young gal runs to the door-looks to see the answer to her prayers-Peter at the door. So what does she do? Does she burst open the door like an excited grandmother receiving her check from Publisher Clearing House!?! No…she runs back to the room where the others are and declares "He's here!"

How odd. Think about it, the answer to her prayer is there, but she is more excited to tell others about it then to experience the miracle. The thing God showed me was what made my throat close a little. Take this and make it an analogy of your spiritual life. As I looked at it in this filter-I am the person in the house, praying and praying for God's presence, for an encounter with him, for a flicker of his voice, for a sense of his beautiful face. We pray, we cry, we eat dirt in our 'prayer closet'. Then at the first sense of his presence-when the goose bumps rise on our arms we think mission accomplish and leave our room after a time spent in the word and think "mission accomplished," but we just heard a knock, recognized Jesus and ran off telling everyone how huge our God time just was. How often do we turn away before really ope

ning the door to let the Father enter his Temple?

How often at that first little sign we boast to others of the righteousness

we feel we're experiencing- but Jesus is still outside the door waiting?

What if we opened the door

to him fully when he knocked, when he came as we so ar

dently prayed for him to come?

What if God actually came to the door with intentions of going inside?

The Word says in Revelation 3:20 "Here
I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."

He doesn't want you to run away at the sound of his voice and think that is all there is. He wants to spend time with you- he wants to be nourished with you. Imagine that, we are certainly strengthened in his presence, but he finds joy, fellowship, and yes strength and delight in spending time was us to! How much more could we be used, how much more of Jesus would we know if we opened the door? Then look, really look at what the Word says after those inside FINALLY open the door for Peter…

"Meanwhile, Peter continued knocking. When they finally opened the door and saw him, they were amazed." (Acts 12:16)

The pastor at my church said something this last week that made me catch my breath, one of those confirmations from God- "The degree of value you place on the presence of God determines the measure of access you have to the impossible." We should jealously guard our time with God-value it, make it a priority and never underestimate what God has planned for you. Do now allow this to lay guilt on you, may it place you in holy dissatisfacti

on with your time with God. May you hear his continuous knocking, his calling to us-his yearning to answer your prayers-and let him in. Let his presence saturate your life.

Lord teach us to wait on you, may we not sell ourselves short so that we run and get all self-righteous about the whisper we heard from you when you want to fellowship and have a conversation with us. God we want to see you face to face-give us the patience and endurance and expectation to walk forward and open the door.

(Photo by Linda Sannuti- check out her awesome pics at http://linda-sannuti.artistwebsites.com )

The Joy of “Cross-Eyed” Retrospect

    I've been reading through Job. Quite an interesting book that I could say a lot about, but I want to narrow my thoughts to one particular portion of this theologically challenging correspondence. I'm not here to debate whether God ever allows painful things into our lives or how Satan can enter God's presence like that, no; I'm just here to share with you something that God brought to light for me recently when I was reading Job. If you have ever skimmed over Job or heard a pastor preach on it somewhere, I'm sure you know the gist of the story. A wealthy, faithful follower of God all the sudden has tragedy strike and looses everything that ever meant something to him. All the while his friends, maybe well meaning, try to get him to admit some hidden sin that would explain what he was going through, and Job declares he is innocent. Many times we uphold the idea that Job was so righteous never getting upset with God through all this…and I have to ask you if that's how you view Job-have you ever read his letters? The Book of Job is full of Job's honest and heart-wrenching prayers asking God why this is happening. He seems to feel insignificant in God's sight, otherwise why would this be happening? It is as if he questions how God views him, but all the while Job understands the power of God, if you have the time; it's a complex book to read through-but it's amazing what you'd find. The portion that struck a chord with me was found in chapter nine, one of Job's responses to his friend…

        + Job 9:32-35 ³² "God is not a mortal like me, so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial. ³³ If only there were a mediator between us, someone who could bring us together. ³⁴ The         mediator could make God stop beating me, and I would no longer live in terror of his punishment. ³⁵ Then I could speak to him without fear, but I cannot do that in my own                 strength.

    What a vivid picture of a man who is lost in his sorrows. All Job can see is how despised he is. The only thing he can comprehend is how god MUST be angry with him because of all the horrors he was going through. And then his line is nearly heart breaking. He details the need for a mediator. He just wants to feel heard by God, to understand why he is dealing with all the pain that has latched itself to his life. All he sees is his sinful state, he knows that he couldn't ever come to God in that way, but what he hasn't understood yet is how God wants Job to come even in this state. It's reminiscent of the cry of Isaiah when he realizes he is ruined for his sins are in the presence of the KING. (Isaiah 6) Have you ever felt the distance from God when you needed him the most? Ever felt that what you've done is so wrong that God couldn't want you to approach him in this muddied state. I know the feeling, praying the same thing over and over with seemingly no response-if only there was someone who was there…someone who could be in God's presence and state my case, intercede for me. But there is. That's just it, we DO have a mediator, and we can turn to Jesus. Job lived thousands of years before Jesus came in the flesh. In fact, many scholars believe that Job was the oldest book written; chronologically it would most likely be intermixed with the book of Genesis.

    If he only had the ability to see the sacrifices as an image of the coming Savior, but Job lived before Moses' time, this could be why we never see a reference to God's provision for the people of Israel that is looked back on by so many other Old Testament books. Just imagine it; Job's only context of god is however he had revealed himself to him in a clear and personal way. Job, even a in his distress while questioning God's love for him still understands pieces of his character. What would I have reacted life if I wasn't able to look back to the cross? The people of Israel could look forward knowing God was a deliverer. They had a picture of it, they had been promised a redeemer. They had the cloud and pillar of fire, for all we know about Job, he had no such physical manifestation of God. He was only able to respond to God through hi innate desire for purpose, love and connection. We don't know how he first came to know God-but I can't imagine how I would've been able to respond if I couldn't look back to the cross.

    Job saw his sinfulness, and he felt inadequate to state his case before a Holy God, and all he wanted was somehow to feel like someone was listening to his plea. As I read this, I was deeply convicted. All those times that my prayers seemed to hit the ceiling, as they mingled with my tears…I had the immeasurable blessing to be able and look back on the cross. My Mediator was listening; my mediator was lifting up his own prayers on my behalf. Job eventually came to the realization that God was there-but what would I have done in that situation? How grossly my trust in God would've been in comparison with Job's. We have it clear and laid out, that even in those hard moments-our sacrificial mediator is interceding on our behalf.

        + Hebrews 8:6 But our High Priest has been given a ministry that is far superior to the ministry of those who serve under the hold laws, for he is the one who guarantees for us a better         covenant with God, based on better promises.

I guess I want to encourage you, take a lesson from Job, his life crumbled and he still held to a God he had never seen. We have access to a text that tells us all we need to know in order to get close to a REAL and PERSONAL GOD. We can look back at the cross. We have the assurance that our God brought the mediator-what measure of trust it took for Job to trust God to come through centuries down he line. The Hebrew people looked forward with verbal promises spoken. Next time you feel your life is crumbling, maybe that's today, remember that you can turn to a God who has already come through for you. How can we not trust him when he has placed Jesus always in the throne room to intercede? I don't know if your heart was pricked by the example God brought to confront me. All I know, is that next time I'm feeling like my life has taken on a new pain, I have no excuse to not present it before God and KNOW he hears, just look back . See the cross. See your mediator always before the throne.

A Word for Those Afraid of the Flame

I find comfort in the reality that we serve a God who doesn't hesitate to help us live up to what our highest potential is. Our God wants to see us walking in all he has for us-the processes however to training ourselves to run that race in a way well done-that's not always a path marked with rainbows and puppy dogs. Sometimes leaving our fluffy little house of pillow soft friends and candy sweet words can hurt like a bee sting in the ankle. But one thing I know is that when we find ourselves in those painful situations-our God can work all things for our good (Romans 8:28) I also know that God can often call us to move beyond the boundaries of our comfortable routine. And I have personally experienced what happens if you too long resist that leading. When I ignored God calling me to change an area in my life, or to address a distraction-eventually I was able to ignore his voice speaking to me about that issue. When we do that we are pulling away from God's growth process for us……with all this and more weighing heavy on my heart at this week's Sunday night prayer service, I felt God speaking to me. I felt convicted at his words-and I know that he wants YOU to hear this too. Please don't push away God's leading anymore in that area that is on your mind right now…please read this word with an open heart to hear what God may be speaking to you, and if your palms get sweaty and your heart beats a little faster-remember that we can only ignore God's voice so long until we become experts on the phrase "those who have ears but cannot hear"

+Hebrews 12L29-28 (NLT) Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.

"My child- you have strayed from my fire. The answered prayers were hot and burnt a sensitive place on your heary. Did you see that as you pulled away- I wouldn't continue to purge with out your wiling submission? Come close again-I've removed chains but there's more. Let me burn away all that lies in the dark corners. Come further still. You see the pain. You hear the anguish-will you still choose to draw near? Will you let me come as close as I desire? Dear one, do not draw from a shallow account. Deeper, closer I call you to carry a cross-but not alone. But you must take it up with eager focus. Not a cross of a task, not of a call, not of a ministry, but a pursuit; a passionate pursuit of me. No other cross will be heaver for the weight of your soul is in every splinter of the wood. Every heart beat for me is another step closer to the flame. Come take a closer walk by the fire. The chains do not just break, in my presence they are melted into holy ore. From the ore I forge anew the sword of the Spirit that come from the lips of the King to battle on your behalf. Closer I call you to the flame. Forever Faithful is he called, the One who holds out his hand to you, has He not been there before? Does he not know the price? Does He not offer a cry at your pain? Come and turn to the flame to be cleansed and strengthened. He who has called you is faithful, he will do this."

+James 4:7-10 (NLT) So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to god and God will draw closet you, wash your hands, you sinners; purify you hearts, you hypocrites. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laugher, and gloom instead of joy. When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

When you ask God to help you grow and declare that you want him no matter the cost-he will answer that prayer, my question for you today, and it's a question that I had to review once more for myself is this, am I willing to receive the answer to my prayers? Will I draw close to a flame that will burn me, but also keep me soft clay to be molded at the hand of the Potter? Be willing to embrace the healing pain of letting you're selfishness be seared away from your spirit. This is more than lofty words and fancy talk. God can lead you day by day from the decisions you make to the thoughts you think. He wants to be so intimately involved in your life, he wants you to be able and sense his voice when he speaks to you. But he leaves the decision in your hands; will you pull away from the flame-afraid of the healing fire? Or will you walk into it, knowing that the ONE who had been there before will hold your hand as you are renewed. I pray that you embrace the devouring fire of our Holy God and carry it with you where ever you go.

Forsake Your Fear, Another Levitical Lesson

Many of us have some habitual sin in our lives. We lie. We steal. We gossip. Or maybe it's some other unspoken; maybe it's just choosing pride over humility. Maybe it's a habitual sin of ignoring what God has pressed on your heart to do. No matter what it is, we often find ourselves deliberately choosing to disobey God. I've been there; I continually have to walk away from there. This is part of the flesh vs. Spirit battle that we are constantly subjected to whether we engage or not. These thoughts and others came to mind as I read in Leviticus 26. The chapter appears to be addressing two subjects; namely obedience and disobedience to God.

+ Leviticus 26: 14-15, 36-37 'But if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands,15 and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant…36 " 'As for those of you who are left, I will make their hearts so fearful in the lands of their enemies that the sound of a windblown leaf will put them to flight. They will run as though fleeing from the sword, and they will fall, even though no one is pursuing them.37 They will stumble over one another as though fleeing from the sword, even though no one is pursuing them. So you will not be able to stand before your enemies"

The surrounding scripture explains how God went through all these efforts to capture the heart of the Hebrew people, but they continue in their sin. This is a certain parallel to us is it not? Maybe it's just me, but I find myself in disobedience often enough. Now this is not to make you feel condemned, but I want to show you what exactly our disobedience is costing us, and maybe you can identify, like I did, some of those areas you are having a deaf ear in. So my question to you is what happens to our spiritual life as a result of a repetitive disobedience?

1-Constant Fear The scripture says how these people who have abhorred, or detested God's will be afraid of a falling leaf. They will be living in such constant fear of their enemy that a falling leaf would terrify them and send them running. We make fun of people who jump when we pop out from behind a corner at them-let alone someone who sprints away when a leaf falls from a nearby tree. I can't say how this may be true in your life-but I can tell you how I've seen this played out in my own. When I am walking in disobedience in some arena of my life, I know that I live in a greater measure of fear. My main leaf is that of worry and anxiety and stress. It can all build up on me at once and I am so worried about what I'm supposed to do next-I often don't take the time to think on whether there is an area in my life that I haven't surrendered to Christ. What's your leaf? Maybe identifying it will take you to the root.

2-Falling Under False Pursuit "They will run as though fleeing from the sword, and they will fall, even though no one is pursuing them" Many of us have a hard enough time walking out our spiritual life in a day without feeling the enemy must be hot on our tail. The car doesn't start, you finally get it working and that one customer at work comes in and chews you out, phone call comes where you find out your insurance is going up for some reason or another-you know that the sword of the enemy is swinging at you. But this scripture says how, when you choose to ignore the will of God for your life, you may find yourself running from and FALLING when there is no one pursuing you. Can you imagine all the Christians you've met that live a defeated life-they could be running from a fictitious sword. God may have freedom for you-but because you are weary in following through on something God has asked of you-you can't even see that you are protected. You fall and give into the attacks because you are too busy looking for the enemy rather than pursuing God.

3-Defenses Fail "you will not be able to stand before your enemies." In Ephesians 6 Paul admonishes us to stand and after all we've done to stand, stand. When we find ourselves in some habitual sin that is controlling the rest of our lives, or we have purposefully and methodically hardened our hearts to God's voice-we are unable to stand against the enemy. We open ourselves up to the attacks of the accuser when we turn our back on God and face the enemy defenseless. We leave ourselves powerless and weak because we are denying God the ability to bless us. So when the enemy truly does come against us in some way, we can't stand. No longer are we running from leaves or falling under an imaginary sword-we buckle when presented with an attack. Those moments when some truly life changing news has been delivered to you and you feel like just can't breathe, you can't bare it anymore-the enemy has found you nearly defenseless.

Now please remember, this is all as a result of deliberately walking away from what God has clearly directed for us. I've been there; it's a nearly daily battle go stay away from this place. This place is not without hope. God laid this out to the Hebrew people so that they could see the sin in their lives and repent. He wanted to be the one to fight for them, he wants us to stand and after all we've done to stand-stand. He wants us to confidently walk in authority over that which seeks to destroy his plan for our life-but we must clean house. I encourage those I know that when God confronts them with something in their life that needs improvement-then do it. Just deal with it, do all you can to deal with it. Jesus told us to cut off our right hand if it causes us to sin-sin is not something to take lightly. I know personally what it's like to purposefully overlook an area that God had his finger on-it places a heavy burden on your shoulders that makes it difficult to stand under. This sin can cause you to be so bound to fear that you feel hopeless-but dear friend there is hope!

+ Leviticus 26:3, 6-7 " 'If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands... 6 " 'I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country.7 You will pursue your enemies, and they will fall by the sword before you."

Did you see that, a complete turnaround, this portion of scripture that precedes the others-it details our position when we obey the word of God? When we are walking in faithfulness before God, this is not perfection, but a heart set on Him, with that mindset we are able to once again wield our sword. No longer do you have to run from the enemy! No one will make us afraid and the sword will not be near! Dear one please take encouragement from this word. If you feel enslaved to some sinful tendency, whether action or emotion-please know that the fear you live in doesn't have to dominate your life anymore. You can route your enemy rather than buckling under the pressure of their sword. Our God is faithful to make a way out-he wants you to turn to him and his forgiveness is deep enough to take you out of the pain you find yourself in.

Won't you ask God to help you identify the leaf of your fear and lead you to the root that causes you to feel under pursuit? Would you turn to God and let him defend you? He is waiting for you to turn to him-take up your sword and engage. Forsake your fear.

Right to Redeem, a Levitical Lesson

I have been reading through the Bible with my Church. I haven't yet done this task in one single year of my life, so I'm trying to stay on track with it. Before I sit down to read for the day I ask God to open my eyes and ears to receive what Word he may have for me that day, with this prayer has come some interesting illuminations of the scriptures. Now I don't claim to have discovered some truth that NO ONE ELSE has ever realized, I just see these whispers of God breathed inspiration as something that God was using to speak to me where I am at right now. Now I have also learned lately that there is usually someone right next to me in the same spot, I just too often have tunnel vision all wrapped up about ME, so much so that I can't see my friend next to me. So I share this, just in case you are that dear friend standing here, dealing with the same issues, struggling with the same lies, or hurting over the same pains. I want you to know that you are set apart person, beloved of the most High King and a priest in the bloodline of Christ. So as we stand here with our tunnel vision straight ahead, let's pause and look at these gentle writings that God inked on my heart that are found amidst his dissertations to the Levitical Priests of old.

    +Leviticus 25:32 The Levites always have the right to redeem any house they have sold within the cities belonging to them

So this isn't the most amazing verse I've ever read. But let me try to not bore you as I give you the context. Here we are reading of the guidelines for the tribe of Levi as they were in the wilderness with Moses and the Israelites. This particular section of scripture Moses is delivering the instructions of the Lord on the subject of property. He explains how the land that is sold outside of the city walls cannot ever be redeemed by the people of Israel. It goes on and on about this until it comes down to talking about the Levite's ability to redeem their property. While all the other tribes would have to sell their property once and for all, God allowed for the Priests to claim back their property.

    I read this and a thought sparked, the priests, were able to ALWAYS, no matter what, claim back what was theirs. How many of us feel like we have let go of something that we may never get back? The bitterness that you've held onto for too long left a burn mark on the inside, you lost your peace. The impure thoughts and actions that dominated your life have left you feeling like a white washed tomb, you feel at a loss for inner purity. You spew angry words all the time at the people closets to you, you lost your contentment. We all have areas of our lives that we feel we lost. Maybe there are areas of your life, areas that are pieces of who you are and you feel the enemy, satan, has taken possession of these. You may even look at this passage and feel a twinge of envy for the priestly people of ancient times. They were able to redeem their property whenever they wanted-I can't even stand up to reclaim the strength God says I'm supposed to have.

    Did you know that "you are a chosen people. You are a kingdom of priests, God's holy nation, his very own special possession…" Did you read that? Maybe go over it again. Yep, still says the same thing. This scripture from 1 Peter 2:9 in context is speaking to the believers of the time. The ones who chose to embrace the cornerstone of the Church, Christ. It relates us to a kingdom of priests. WE are the chosen people. Do you feel it? When God whispered this to me my pulse picked up. Maybe this is part of the point. Maybe this is what God wants you to see at this place of your life-You are able to redeem, to claim, to take back the property that another has been occupying. Maybe this is what Leviticus is telling you right now, you can claim back the land you let be claimed by depression, the areas of your thoughts that you've given ownership over to worry, lust or pride.

    We are of the HIGH PRIEST's blood line, Christ was the ultimate intermediary between the human race and God the Father, and we are now called to act in the same manner, to intercede. And with this come the ability to redeem any area you have forfeited. So take up the land that you sold. Redeem the peace, redeem the direction, and redeem the joy. How? Take the authority that is in Christ and live not longer allow the enemy a foothold in the areas of your life that you have been weakest. Begin to operate in the priestly authority that you have-redeem what is rightfully yours. Do not let the thoughts and emotions that are from satan live in the land that you have a right to. You have the right to redeem.

I Wish My Life Was an Algebraic Equation

Have you ever gone through those times when there are these random circumstances that just stack up? Whether it's the daily stress or something major that hits you in the forehead-it is in those moments where the average person who gets to experience 'life' has two choices. Trust God to pick you up and make the best out of the situation or wallow in the confusion and self pity of the whys. You know those whys; they hid under your pillow at night and laugh at your sighs. They also seem to favor poking you in the eye whenever you start to read the Bible. Oh and don't forget the friendly whys that sneak up on you when you FINALLY had this part of your life lined up, those whys come in and pull that perfectly placed center piece of the obscure puzzle aside and now you don't even have that light blue blotch matched to go above that tree and under that slightly grey cloud.

Ok so maybe you don't take the evil 'why now?', 'why me?' or 'why this?' situations and equate them to obnoxious puzzles-but I wanted to share with you that in those moments, in the times when nothing makes sense-God does. I have found that God's faithfulness is the star of the show when I feel overwhelmed by all the little things or the not-so-little things. It is such a blessed thing to be able and rely on an unchanging God who, according to James 1:17 is "the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

So dear friend I write this little blog in efforts to encourage you in the midst of what you're going through, big or small –God takes note. Big or small, it matters to you-so it matters to him. Big or small-I too feel overwhelmed at times, and the only place of solace I find is in the arms of the Father who does not change, the one who is faithful when we are unfaithful. So where does puzzle pieces and algebraic equations come together in this heart rant of mine? The entry below is one of my journal entries with my expression of how I don't always understand the reasons for things, and how unfair logic can seem. There is a line that we have to find of logic and faith-but in the midst of this difficult task, we can ever lose track of God's faithfulness and the reality that HE has the plan all worked out, we just don't see the big picture or know where all the like colored puzzle pieces fit..So if you want to find a kindred heart that has felt lost and confused with why life doesn't just 'work' then hello friend, sit here with me and we'll see if where this puzzle piece may fit...

"Me? I am not one for mathematical processes to roll around in my head. But I kind of wish my life was a variable. You see, in math there are unknown variables. But through a known process the unknowns become more then Xs or Zs. Why doesn't the Xs of my life become 2s so they can add to 4? Why can't I have the steps written on the board in bright clear colors? Why do the number and letters all seem to run together? Where are the people who figured this out before me? Why can't I just try harder to understand and see the formula work?

I guess that sometimes you have to cancel out numbers to make the formula work, so the Xs blur my vision as frustrated tears fall and mix with the eraser shards on my failed attempts at working the formula out.

Me? I hate numbers. I hate how much sense they make. I hate that there is so much UnChAnGiNg logic to be wasted on formulas and processes when the unknowns Xs in my life involve God allowing me to be in community with imperfect plans and people. He is perfect, how wonderful that HE is faithful, yes he is my CONSTANT. However my variables seem to fluctuate from one side to the other. My logic gets tossed out the window and trampled underfoot as I hope the mud will clear to reveal neat rows of 1 2 3…

Me? I hate the unknowns, the Xs that taunt me. I just wish that my life was an algebraic equation…."

*Our only steadfast defense against life's certain uncertainty is unconditional trust in a Savior who loves us more than His own life. –Beth Moore

*Nevertheless my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail. –God (Psalm 89:33)

Where is your river Jordan?

I spent some focused time with God today. Those seemingly to rare moments when you are able to actually shut the door to the room you are walking into and just blare some worship music and spend some quality face time. Those moments that seem to be all to infrequent. As I popped in my new Jesus Culture CD and just got into the Word and prayer a few things came to light. My skills from Radiant School of Ministry when Pastor Jon taught us about really looking into the context of a verse came out. So I would like to share with you the things that God showed me in the hope that God would speak to you in the way he did to me through these scriptures-and just perhaps It would spark a greater hunger in you to look into the Word and let God reveal them to you in a way you haven't ever seen before. So come with me to cross the river Jordan wont you?

+Psalm 42:5-6 Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in you God! I will praise him again-my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness- from Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar.

Now if you are like me I had the first part of that verse underline-you know how it is- you think YA God! I trust you even though I'm sad!! Ya! And then you start to trail off as you read about Mount Hershey is it? And that one river? And Mount Marzipan-isn't that a food or something? Maybe its just me...but that is how I read that verse. I have no clue what David was speaking of here with the random mounts and rivers.

Today, however as I read I decided to look into it. What was David talking about? So I grabbed out my handy dandy Bible Dictionary and looked up "Hermon, Mount" then flipped over to "Jordan River". This is what it said that I found noteworthy-

• MOUNT HERMON
  
• Also known as the "Sacred Place" in the local language, this Mount is also assumed to be the Mount of Transfiguration.
  
• This mount was year round covered with snow. Even through the parched summer months there was snow on the hillsides in the shade of trees on this mountain. DON'T MISS THIS- In the summer, due to the amount of snow on the Mount, there was a dew that would descend on the surrounding valleys even in the midst of the dry parched times.
  
• This mountain and its snow was part of the source of the Jordan River…
  

  
  

• JORDAN RIVER
  
• David was probably referencing when he was fleeing the rebellion of his son Absolom and he crossed the Jordan to protect himself from harm.
  
• David may also have been turning his mind back to the fact that as Joshua lead the Hebrews across the Jordan River they finally were entering the Holy Land, they were receiving their promise from God.
  
• This was also the river where in the years to come John the Baptist would baptize Jesus Christ as Jesus was initiated into his time of ministry.
  

  "Ok cool, it's a place with some stuff going on" you may think. But friend! Did you see what David was thinking of? Did you see what he was prophesying about? David was passionately declaring that he would remember all God had done for him in relation to these places. David remembered the refreshment that God provided in the parched valley. Is it too far of a connection to make that as he remembered the kindness of God in how he answered his prayer "As
  the deer pants for the streams of water, so I long for you. O God. I thirst for God, the living God…" He prayed this at the beginning of the very same Psalm. David was a poet, he knew how to use metaphors, allegories and a simile like the best of them-he was thanking God for his kindness in revealing the satisfaction to his thirst for the Spirit-do you need to have your thirst quenched in this dry land? Do you feel like your standing at the foot of that mountain-you see the snow and hear the waters that flow in the Jordan, but you still dry inside? God in his kindness wants to show you the dew of Heaven, the dew of his presence.
  

  And do not forget this is very likely the mount where Jesus was transfigured, where he went up with his closest disciples and met with his friends of old. If this was the same mountain-perhaps David was prophetically speaking of how God was quenching his thirst by revealing friendship, glory and a piece of heaven? He wants to have that face to face fellowship with you, he wasn't to show you his kindness with unveiled glory. This is all theoretical, but the connections all seemed to come into place as I looked into Mount Hermon.
  

  The Jordan River was the symbolic border line that the Hebrews crossed as they entered the Promise Land-so I ask you, what promise have you been waiting for? There is a kindness God wants to show you, he wants you to know that the promise he has planted in your heart is obtainable when you follow him, when you love him and when you trust him.
  

  
  

  So dear friend, I hope you can read between the confusing lines above and hear the heart beat of your father speaking through the heart of a great man of God-David. Would you join in David's prayer and say that no matter what is happening around you, whether the 'land' is parched, whether you have yet to reach the promise land-will you remember God's kindness? Will you dig into the WORD to hear the heartbeat of the father on the other side? So I challenge you, find your river Jordan, cross it and don't forget the kindness that God showed you on the Mount.

Words Laced With Conviction

Will you humor me and imagine something with me? What would happen if there was a generation that lived on the earth today-a generation that let their actions flow out of their core convictions? Imagine if the Christians alive today actually lived out their day thinking about the all powerful and all loving God who wanted to reach every person they passed by. What if we really understood the undeserved love that is lavished on us every day? How would you act differently? Would you smile at the people whom you passed on the street? Would you take the time to say 'how are you'-and really listen to the answer? All this was stirred within me at the Radiant Youth Conference I attended this weekend. David Perkins' closing session challenged us to live without caring what others think- to live radically found on our convictions.

+ Romans 11:33-34a Oh, what a wonderful God we have! How wonderful are his riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods! For who can know what the Lord is thinking?

This is the God that we serve. He is wonderful and marvelous; we don't even pray like he is so awesome. God help us!

Have you ever been convicted by a fictional character? Any avid readers would know what I'm talking about. I recently started to read Francine River's Mark of the Lion Trilogy, in it there is a young Jew girl named Hadassah. You see her stand up for her convictions in face of most horrible ridicule. She never speaks a sentence without allowing her heart for an Almighty and all loving God to shine through. Rivers depicts young Hadassah as such a convicted young woman that I felt my heart ache to live with such zeal, such passion. I like to fancy I have my helping of zeal, but when it comes down to it-how man opportunities, the little one-have I passed up in the last week alone. How many conversations have I been involved in without as much as a thought of letting my God come into the conversation. You ask me and I'll tell you God-he is my all, he is my life. But are my actions, my conversations reflecting that? I was moved to tears reading Rivers' book about a girl who faced death because she knew one who held her life. We can't even endure the mocking expressions of friends, let alone the leering of thousands as we are lead out to the center of an arena where hungry lions await. Dear one, how much could God reach our friends-our coworkers-our family if we would make every decision based on the convictions that our hearts were tied to.

One afternoon as I let my mind muse over my life, over my convictions, over the seemingly lack conviction in my conversations- and God laid this poem in my heart. I pray it speaks to you. I pray it challenges you. I pray it convicts you.

Words Laced With Conviction

I want to speak words laced with conviction

In light of heroes of the past

Shadow to follow-their words did last

My steps have hardly followed.

Their words I have borrowed.

But now its time.

I see a girl standing in the arena

No sign of fear upon her face

The crowd jeers and lions roar

She is solid to her core.

An unseen God holds her tight.

The smile on her lips reflect days past

When she stood and broke fear-

Those are the times she felt him most near.

With death at the door

Pain round the corner

Suffering was a small cost.

Her words rang true in the ear of accusers

Her words were laced with conviction.

The conviction I feel with comparison done-

I can hardly stand tall.

Falling down has been my pattern

My fears had wrapped me tight.

But to a fight I've been called-

Flesh against Spirit.

Words of lie are on my tongue

But how am I to live a life without a care?

Will my God carry me there?

I know he has seen passed opportunities-

Too many to count!

Does he still care to use me again?

Am I able to walk the path

Only martyrs go there.

I am to die to self daily.

But my words are full of me

Words are things to easily taken

Words are things to be treasured and spoken

Stand up for your beliefs.

Declare the One God's Glory

Live a life of love

Out loud speak the words-

Words laced with conviction.

How do I measure up?

Fear or Faith

Pain of Peace

Chilled or Charged

Hateful or Healing

Dragging or Determined

Shy or Saving

Helpless or Hearty

Angst or Righteously Angry

Careless or Convicted?

With the power I know

With the Father I have

With the glory I've seen

I must stand.

I will follow the path walked before-

Silence won't rule me now.

My words will drip with passions aflood

No excuses to grand

No hesitation to true

My god calls me forward

No matter the depth of friction

I will speak words of Conviction.

+Job 37:1-5 My heart pounds as I think of this. It leaps within me. Listen carefully to the thunder of God's voice as if rolls from his mouth. It rolls across the heavens, and his lightening flashes out in every direction. Then comes the roaring of the thunder-the tremendous voice of his majesty. He does not restrain the thunder when he speaks. God's voice is glorious in the thunder. We cannot comprehend the greatness of his power.

Friend-this is the God we serve, this is the one we have the privilege to announce to the world. How do we ever go a day without tears for the missed opportunities to point the way? How can we go one more minute without an ache in our souls for a passion that consumes? May your passion be for God alone, and may that zeal rise up in a fire that burns in your words. I pray that God would awaken this generation to live radical lives that drip with the living water that is offered from a mighty, powerful, loving God.

Ruth’s Word of Abundance in HIS Absence

I recently shared with you the things God revealed to me through the beautiful story of Ruth. On the day that he was speaking to me on that subject and pointing out the little treasures amidst the sand, he also spoke a rhema word, a Word for right now, a sort of word of wisdom. This little whispered word to my heart I believe was also meant as a shout to your soul!

Allow me to remind you of the points that I discussed in "The Ruth In The Rest Of Us" and you can see how God just nailed these nuggets of truth home as he spoke a personal word to my heart.

1. 
   
   Ruth was lead back home by the voice of one who has been there.
   


1. Follow the leading of those who have been there.
2. 
   
   Ruth chose the set-apart life.
   


1. Our life's destiny could be changed by a small hinge in the door of destiny. Look for your peripety-live a different life then that of the word
   
3. 
   
   Ruth moved forward.
   
1. Take the initiative to keep moving forward, then allow God to direct you.
   
4. 
   
   Boaz offers refreshment and Ruth recognizes her insufficiency
   


1. When you feel insufficient-God offers refreshment and rest as we worship him.
5. 
   
   Boaz provided an abundance.
   
   
   
   1. Jesus came to give life and life more abundantly!


6. 
   
   Ruth took hold of what was legally hers.
   
   
   
   1. Take what is legally ours-Jesus paid the price, don't waste the inheritance!


7. 
   
   Boaz fights for Ruth
   
   
   
   1. Jesus our Redeemer has fought and still battles on our behalf today!
      

With these points on my mind I listened to the Spirit whisper the following words to my heart-let them sink in. Let him speak to you in the way only he knows how to.

"Dear one, do you see my hand moving and working? In the little things child-Oh Beloved do you see the provision I left behind? As you slowly opened your eyes to see how I was drawing you to myself. Do you see my child- I have moved in the circumstances to bring you back to me and to my home land. Oh beautiful child-listen to the instruction and allow me to fight for you. I will not force your hand. But Oh the joyous tears that overspill as I see you prostrate at my feet. Oh! The surge of my heart as I see your willing heart ready to come to my household. But dear one, please, please listen to what you have to do. I must go and fight. I will rightfully and legally take my rights to you back. Will you wait? Oh child do not grow weary in your waiting. Oh beloved- if you only allow me to provide for you whilst I am not present. Before all the witnesses of Heaven I took your name, took your heart as my own. But will you be waiting for me? Have you done as I asked? Did you walk away from your surrender empty handed? Oh dear child-dear bride of mine- see your cup overflows in my absence how much more as my beloved wife whilst you be provided for! Now come to this new life. Come to this new family and see how I have reversed your end-From widow to wife, bereaved to a blushing bride, from famine to feast. Yes, from seemingly insignificant to the bloodline of the King and his inheritance. Come lay at my feet. Beloved-my Beloved and Bride I say Come."

+ Psalm 19:5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.

God wants to move in your life, all you must do is listen to his voice as he calls you even now to wait for him in his seeming absence, because dear child-dearly beloved of the MOST HIGH REDEEMER-your God is giving you the abundant life in his apparent absence. Hear his plea-feel his heart beat and respond. Enter into this life that is meant for more than to just survive. Your Prince has legally taken your name-now set him as a seal upon your heart-take his name. Walk in his ways-live always out of his inheritance and his home. And trust-you must trust him, he knows your needs. He is attentive to your hearts innermost desires-he is taking you to a new level of fellowship-spend your every moment with him on your mind. He is working a miracle in the mundane circumstances of your life. Embrace the abundance in his apparent absence!