Thoughts on direction..

+Ephesians 1:8,17(NLT) He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding...asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.

I have been praying a lot lately that God would just give me some divine direction in some decisions that I have at this stage of my life. It seems like at every turn there is a potentially life altering decision to be made, and that is a reality that strikes an indecisive person like me with fear. I know that any decision made out of fear is tainted and may cloud my discernment in what God is trying to tell me. I also know that I want to make my decisions with a foundation of faith- confident that my God can creatively intervene in any situation as he works all things to my good. (Rom 8:28)

This morning as I sit at a Starbucks in the beautiful city of Colorado Springs, the sun is shining out side the window, the breeze is waltzing with the bare branches of the trees and the Rocky mountains frame a picturesque sky. With this majestic sight before me I came across the above verses. With a gently whisper that I imagine was akin to the voice God chose to speak to Elijah with in the mountain side cave I heard something pressing on my heart. The Father simply whispered, "What if your asking for direction is a request slightly off aim? Ask for understanding, ask for wisdom. These things will lead you to a deeper knowledge of me. Once you know me more deeply- direction comes naturally, and it wont be something to fear. Isn't a clearer understanding of me a more precious treasure then a revelation of the next 6 months of your life? Do you trust that I have your every day written in my book?"

The admonishment of James 4:2-3 came to mind. I was asking God for direction, but were my motives misdirected? I know God does not look down on my asking for direction, it isn't that I felt he was correcting me for some wrong doing. He wants to bless me, the Spirit has promised to lead me into all Truth. If I change my prayer focus from clear direction, to deeper wisdom- the decisions that lead to my future and its direction will fall naturally in line with his will and heart for me.

I know that some things God speaks to us is a personal word, but with the joy I find in writing, I felt this was another gentle lesson that God may have to teach you too. Maybe it was just a lesson God wanted to open my eyes to, maybe my motives were slightly askew from what they should be as I sought God's will for my life;his will for the next year of my life. But if this is for you to hear, then please read it and take it to heart. Maybe God is calling you to deeper knowledge of him, and that may mean letting go of the strict ten year plan you created when you were in 8th grade. Maybe God is calling you to a spontaneous life that is lead daily by reliance on him; daily trust. No prayer is over looked by God, but if he impresses on me a way to pray that is more in line with his heart-wouldn't I be a fool to over look it?

God forgive me for seeking direction alone. I was looking at that prayer as a means to an end. I was asking for quick definitive answers and was missing out on the joy that can be found in creatively discovering the next chapter of life you've written for me. Holy Spirit, thank you for leading me into all Truth. Help me to rely on you, may I invite you into my every day, every decision, trusting that you are imparting wisdom freely as I ask for it. May the wisdom and understanding that you reveal to me lead me deeper in to you. Above all else- God- if I am closer to you, to your heart, my life will be enriched so much more then having my life plan cemented. May I never forget the faithfulness you've displayed in my life in the past. Father God, increase my heart's capacity to breathe in wisdom, open my eyes to the Spirit of understanding.

Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done." -C.S. Lewis